Six years ago today, I woke up and got out of bed and stood up on my own, and it was a miracle.
In the middle of the night I had gotten out of bed to turn off the heat; the next thing I knew I was on the floor of my bedroom. Apparently I had fainted, and in the process of crashing to the floor I hit my head on something. I had a shallow laceration and my head was bleeding. and sustained a traumatic brain injury, more commonly known as a concussion.
I had been coming off a record year in my business and was eager to ride that momentum. I had big plans for speaking engagements and client work and other initiatives. And in a flash, it all came to a halt.
The brain injury appeared to cause a major disruption in my life.
The weeks and months that followed forced me to stop working as I recovered. I had to learn about rest and screen time limits, find a new way of working and running my business. I was afraid that I would lose what I had worked to build.
When the final numbers were in for 2015, I had a better year than the year before, despite working a lot less. I had to let go of my specific goals but I had found a better way to meet my outcomes.
It wasn’t just in the numbers: I formed stronger connections, meaningful collaborations, and took on only the business that gave me joy.
Even in the immediate aftermath of my brain injury I knew that this experience was a gift. It taught me to let go of the plans, to be present to what was emerging, and to surrender to the Divine Plan.
We create so much suffering for ourselves when we cling to our belief that we can control events in our lives.
This gripping deprives us of the joy of the present, of seeing the beauty in what is here now.
At the time, the timing of my injury felt like the worst timing, disrupting my plans just as the year was starting. But now I appreciate that the anniversary comes at the start of the year. It reminds me, as I plan for the year ahead, that I’m not the one in control.
Even the best-laid plans are subject to a higher power.
Ultimately the plan that matters is not my plan.