For a long time, I held the belief that “self-care” is “selfish.”
It was part of my conditioning that I had to care for others before I could take care of my needs. Serve others first. Take care of others before myself.
When everyone else comes first, someone comes last. And if you believe that self-care is selfish, that someone who comes last is you.
Eventually, I realized that this was a limiting belief.
I adopted a new belief that self-care is not selfish.
Then I realized that this new belief was based on an assumption that selfish is a bad thing.
And maybe our real problem is that we assign a negative charge to “selfish.”
What if selfish isn’t a “bad” thing?
What if it’s necessary to be selfish in order to serve from a place of wholeness.
If you want to serve from your heart and soul, you must first fill your heart and soul. It sounds obvious, but so few of us really take the time to do it.
You wouldn’t invite people over to your home without ensuring you had something to serve them. You’d make the time to go to the market and buy drinks and snacks to serve.
Why should service from your heart be any different?
Service at the highest level comes from taking care of your needs first. If you don’t fill yourself, you have nothing to give others.
There is a difference between giving from yourself and giving away parts of yourself. When you create space to fill up, you can give from yourself without giving away parts of yourself.
Trying to serve from a place of emptiness will deplete and drain you; it’s a recipe for burnout.
What if you could let go of the limiting belief that self-care is selfish? Or that selfish is a bad thing?
Whichever path you choose, I invite you to consider a new alternative belief:
Self-care is the fuel for service.
What do you think? Have you had the belief that self-care is selfish?
[…] the practice of loving-kindness, and of giving in general, begins within us. When we take care to light our own inner light first, we can serve as a light for others and spread that light to the […]