It’s easier to try to be better who you are than to be who you are. — Marion Woodman
The early days of the calendar year are often frothy with intentions and desires for how we are going to improve ourselves in the coming year.
- What new habits or rituals will you start?
- What old habits will you let go?
- How will you be better?
- How will you work more efficiently?
- How can you up-level or upgrade yourself?
In the personal development and entrepreneurial worlds — which often overlap — there’s a lot of pressure to constantly improve, to be a certain way.
The path of improvement can start to feel like a treadmill — a lot of hustle that doesn’t actually lead anywhere.
And this constant striving to be “better” implies that we are not good enough as we are.
Like someone who walks into a party and immediately says “I have to leave in 10 minutes to get to the next event,” we’re always trying to get to the next version of ourselves before we’ve settled into this one.
It’s exhausting.
What if we stopped trying so hard to always be better than we are, and instead embraced who we are?
In 2024, I experimented with sharing more publicly about my challenges with ADHD, perimenopause, and my experiences with grief — a trifecta of brain fog and physical pain.
When I had momentary memory lapses while teaching a yoga class, I embraced it with humor and humility, instead of pretending I was perfect.
When I was overcome with grief during a workout, I allowed myself to cry in the middle of the gym.
It was scary and vulnerable. But an interesting thing happened: more people related to me. I found greater acceptance and connection. I started cultivating more community around these topics. I found more of my authentic voice.
The cloak of perfection and striving are heavy garments that can way us down. Removing them lightens the load. It can set us free.
There’s something refreshing about people who show up as they are, without apology or excuses as to why they’re not “better.”
Nothing here against improvement. It’s a part of growth, essential in many cases. But when it comes at a cost of being who you are, you end up constantly chasing some figment of your imagination.
Instead of trying to be better, what if you just set out to be more of who you already are, and trust that improvement will happen on its own, if necessary.
H/T to Kelly Surtees for the quote inspiration.
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