A common thread in people with ADHD is that we resist structure, yet we also crave it.
As much as we might hate schedules, they get the adrenaline pumping and keep us moving. Without a supportive structure and schedule, we can feel lost, aimless, drifting, and empty.
Read: 3 Powers of Routines for People With ADHD
The transition between the two states can be especially jarring.
Macro Transitions vs Micro Transitions
Over the past two decades, a big focus of my work as a real estate agent and holistic coach has been helping my clients navigate life’s transitions.
Most people focus on the big-picture transitions. These are the obvious life transitions that we experience between jobs, homes, or at certain phases of life: birth, death, marriage, divorce, having kids, empty-nesters, peri-menopause.
When it comes to these big life transitions, most people can clearly see where one thing is ending and another thing is beginning. We might have already accepted that there will be uncertainty, grief and sadness.
What many people don’t realize is that transitions aren’t just for the big-picture moments. They also occur in the micro-moments of our daily experience.
- from one activity to the next
- from one location to the next
- from structured environments like a job or school to the freedom of the after-work/after-school hours
- from seeing clients to post-client time
- from one group of people to another
- from work to errands
- from creative work to administrative work to housekeeping
Some of these transitions can be more jarring than others.
The Emotions of Transitions
I recently worked with a client who works as a school therapist. The school day finishes in the mid-afternoon, leaving her with plenty of time to do tasks for herself.
But she mentioned that by the time that closing bell rang she was exhausted. She also described a feeling of sadness that came over her when the school day ended.
Like many of my clients, she thought that there was something “wrong” with her fatigue and sadness; that it was a problem to be “overcome” or to “fix.”
But her sadness and fatigue made perfect sense:
This client draws her energy from others and is motivated by service.
The ending of the school day left her without a main source of energy fuel and motivation.
It’s also a sharp transition between needing to be “on” for several hours without any downtime to suddenly having so much space for herself.
The truth is that the daily transitions are often more challenging because we don’t always recognize them for what they are.
But just like in life transitions, one phase is ending and another is just beginning.
There’s sadness at what you are ending, and there’s an unknown — a mystery — about what comes next. Where do I go? What do I do now?
3 Steps to Navigate Transitions With More Ease
Whether it’s a transition point in your life or in your day, here are 3 steps to navigating transitions with greater ease, so you emerge energized instead of exhausted.
(1) Recognize
The first step in navigating daily transitions is to recognize the transition points.
It might sound obvious, but we’re not accustomed to labeling those moments in the day for what they are. As a result, we don’t always pause to consider that we’re in a moment of transition.
Every time you end an activity in your day, or go from one place to another, you’re in a transition moment. Pause to name for yourself:
- What is ending;
- What you might be moving towards; and
- What is unknown or uncertain in the future — even if that “future” is just the next hour of your day.
(2) Normalize
Even if you recognize the transition in structure from one thing to the next, you may be unfamiliar with the emotions that arise.
The emptiness, sadness, and grief are normal and natural. They won’t last forever; instead, think of them likes waves that crest and fall.
Knowing that this is a part of the process can help us accept it and work with it instead of against it.
(3) Strategize
Strategize ways to work with the transition instead of fighting it.
Have a strategy for where you’ll go and what you’ll do — not just for the next part of your day, but also for the transition itself.
For example, I worked with my client to create an intentional ritual for her post-work time that would honor her fatigue, instead of trying to override her fatigue with caffeine or falling into the abyss of seeking the next dopamine hit to push through the lull.
By scheduling a 30-minute reset ritual into her day, she could refuel herself for the second act of her day.
Transitions Can Exhaust or Energize
Transitions are a natural part of your day, just like they are a natural part of your life. They can be a source of fatigue or fuel, exhaustion or energy.
By employing a strategic transition to refuel and replenish, you can avoid the energy drain and create a pedestal to propel you into your next act.
Further Reading
3 Strategies to More Effectively Transitions Between Tasks with ADHD
The Strategy to Do More in Your Day With Less Fatigue
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