Success is Not An Option
This was the title of a short essay that Seth Godin wrote on his blog the other day.
He writes that when we define success as the big win or the moment when our dreams match reality, we reinforce a belief that success is the cure-all.
The underlying belief that success is the end of imposter syndrome, stability and finally making it to the other side.
He goes on to argue that success, by this definition, won’t happen, because it is incompatible with the creative process.
Failure Is a Necessary Part of the Creative Process
Any creative process, by definition, entails failure — or at least the risk of failure.
Not every project or performance will be a winner.
I’ve been publishing a daily blog for over six years. A small handful of essays consistently rank high on Google searches and pull people to my blog. Most of what I write languishes in obscurity.
Even in top tier athletics, failure is more common than success. The top baseball players would be thrilled to put the ball in play on 2 out of every 3 at-bats. There’s no basketball player with 100% shooting percentage.
The Misdirection of Success Training
And yet, many high achievers are not taught how to fail.
In fact, we’re often taught to avoid failure at all costs. We’re saddled with expectations to succeed: to get good grades in school, to “hit the ball out of the park,” to be the winner. Failure invites ridicule and fear about our future prospects.
This sets us up poorly for life.
The fear of failure can prevent us from taking necessary risks in our creative work, from breaking free of the box that we’ve confined ourselves in, from exploring our true passions and higher calling, from finding fulfillment and joy.
Ironically, the fear of failure can prevent us from the success we seek.
And success can magnify imposter phenomenon and other anxieties. We might wonder if our success was a fluke, or due to a special set of circumstances that won’t repeat again.
The more we experience success, the more we fear failure.
Success can become a prison, causing us to stay attached to what we have instead of pushing new boundaries.
The Gift of Failure
When I watch my mentors and others I admire in the gym, what impresses me most is not their big PRs — the big wins — but how they handle the failures. They don’t wallow in them. Instead, they dust themselves off and attack the bar for another try.
Learning to embrace failure in this way has been a big part of my journey of weightlifting and CrossFit.
If you want to push yourself to lift heavier, you can’t play it safe.
To know your limits requires that you allow yourself to fail.
Otherwise you may forever wonder if you could have done more.
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