A client was invited to speak on a panel at a conference for women. The panel was about the impact of trauma on women of color. She shared with me that the other panelists were experts in this field.
My client was not a trauma expert.
She worried that she would not have much value to add to the participants at the conference.
What could she offer that would hold up to what the experts had to say?
My client has a deeply rich story to share — an experience that I knew would resonate with many in a profound way.
I invited her to consider that this, above all else, is what the participants really needed, and I offered her this guidance:
You don’t need to be an expert. Just share your experience. That’s what people want to hear.
The moment I said this aloud, we both knew it was golden advice. It occurred to me that this was also great advice for writing.
In fact, I wrote it down for myself on a slip of paper:
Share your experience, not your expertise.
I keep the paper with me as a reminder of what’s most important to share. I find it especially useful when I get hit with the inevitable wave of imposter phenomenon.
Your Experience Gives You Your Own Niche
Sometimes it seems that everyone in the online space is claiming to be an expert in something. People make up niches just to have their own lane of expertise.
Many people have told me that they want to start a blog, but they’re not an expert and they don’t have a niche.
Trying to be an expert is one of the quickest ways to shut down your creative potential. The notion of expertise practically invites the resistance of imposter phenomenon.
When I’m trying to present myself as an “expert,” I can find myself feeling like I don’t measure up. There’s always someone with better credentials or more externally-validated credibility.
Why would anyone need to hear from me?
This is what my client was feeling before her conference.
Shifting the focus to sharing experience removes the comparison to others. It’s a way to get your own “niche” without having to invent a niche.
Even if you shared circumstances with others, no two people have the same experience.
Your experience is yours, and yours alone. Nobody else lives in your body and has your mind.
Expertise Separates; Experience Connects
When I read articles online, I gravitate away from articles framed as “expert advice.” Most of this advice is pedantic and often irrelevant to my experience.
I prefer to read about someone else’s experience. It’s through reading or hearing about another person’s experience that I can see facets that relate to my experience and my journey.
By learning about how someone else navigated their experience, I can get ideas for how to navigate my own.
“Expertise” creates a hierarchy that separates and divides. Experience is a bridge that connects.
This is what my client discovered.
A couple of days after our call, my client reported that she had shared her experience on the panel and it was well-received.
Women approached her after to tell her how much they appreciated her candor, honesty, and vulnerability.
They seemed to gravitate toward her over the other panelists.
Sharing her experience helped her find connection.
I have received similar responses when I’ve shared my experience in private groups and conferences.
When we are willing to share our experiences, we give others permission to look inside themselves and feel through their own experiences.
That is ultimately more effective than any “expert” advice we could offer to someone else.
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