How to Rebuild What You’ve Lost

Don’t settle for rebuilding what you lost. Aim to build back better than before.

Earlier this year, my basic trapeze skills eluded me. Even though I’ve been active daily during the pandemic, and even though I had returned to trapeze last summer in good form, a year without a gym, weight training, and movement coaching had taken its toll.

I had lost much of my physical strength.

I’ve been practicing the art of flying trapeze for 18 years. Suddenly, I was struggling to do skills I had done hundreds of times — without safety lines. Struggling to do something that I once took for granted sent my confidence to an all time low.

It wasn’t just the strength. I had also lost the rhythm of my swing. I was out of sync.

Saturday, with my stomach doing flips like it was my first time all over again, I did a back end split — without practicing in safety lines first.

It was first split I’d thrown since a failed attempt in early January, and it felt like redemption.

Flying trapeze is often months of pain for moments of joy. This was a moment of joy.

Still a long way to go in my strength, in the power of my swing and in the aesthetics, but it felt good.

I was back in rhythm.

It was a big win. Not just physically, but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

I walked out of the circus tent on a natural high.

It was a huge and much needed confidence boost.

It came at the end of a 10-week workshop in which I worked almost exclusively on drills.

In flying trapeze the swing and the tricks are the fun part. Nobody likes to do drills. Most of my peers in my workshop switched over to practicing tricks halfway through class. But I was committed to the drills.

I didn’t just want to “get my tricks back.” I was committed to rebuilding my flying to be stronger than it was before.

I knew that if I focused on fundamentals, the swing would improve and the tricks would return.

So I embraced humility, put the safety lines on, and diligently did my drills.

The first couple of weeks were so exhausting that I had to stop before the end of class.

I approached my practice with self-compassion. I didn’t push myself too far too fast.

I accepted where I was, and let go of any attachment to my outcome or the timeline for it.

I wasn’t even expecting to do any tricks by the end of the workshop. But I did. I was ahead of schedule.

Sometimes the most effective way to rebuild is to break it all down and build it back from ground up.