Life is About Relationships

Most people associate the word “relationships” with people: family, friends, strangers. But that’s only one type of relationship. The word “relationship” means

the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

We have relationships with everyone and everything around us: with objects, emotional states, mental states, and concepts; with things we can see and what we can’t see; with the known and the unknown.

Exploring certain concepts — ideas like time, money, change, fear — can sometimes feel like an abstract, academic exercise. We can understand concepts intellectually, but how do we personalize them to our experience?

One of my favorite ways to ground any concept and bring it into my physical experience is to explore my relationship to it.

How to explore your relationship to a concept

If this is a new idea to you, you may wonder how do I explore my relationship to a concept?

The short answer is that you explore it the same way you explore your relationship to another person.

Begin by asking a simple question:

What is my relationship to X?

To answer this question:

• Observe your attitudes, beliefs, actions, and behaviors toward that concept.
• Notice the language you use when you speak about the concept.
• Bring awareness to any sensations in your physical body when this topic is raised.

An Example: Money and Time

To make this more concrete, let’s look at an example.

Consider your relationships with money and time.

Have you ever noticed that in our culture we often use similar language to describe how we approach money and time?

We talk about investing, spending, managing, and saving them; about whether we have enough or not enough — does anyone ever say they have too much of either?

We often speak about money and time as resources that can help us achieve our goals, or as constraints that can limit us in our pursuit of our dreams.

(Even if you don’t personally use this language, I’m sure you know someone who does).

What do you do with this information?

Your relationship with any aspect of life is a portal to understanding your relationship with life itself.

If you want to feel differently about life, illuminating your current attitudes, beliefs and behaviors toward any aspect of life is the first step.

Writing down your observations can help also illuminate patterns among these relationships. If you see that your relationship with time mirrors your relationship with money, then shifting one will help you shift the other.

Life is about relationships. The better you can understand your relationships to the world around you and within you, the more you’ll be able to live your fullest and best life.