Six months ago, I walked into the public library in La Jolla to attend a talk on concussion recovery and post-concussion syndrome protocols. I was still having PCS symptoms four years after sustaining a concussion and was eager for any information I might learn that could help me.
That’s when I first met Carlos Rocha, a physical therapist based in La Jolla.
By the time Carlos finished his presentation, I knew I had to schedule an evaluation with him to get to the bottom of my lingering PCS symptoms. I delayed my other plans and extended my stay in La Jolla to meet with Carlos two days later.
After evaluating me, Carlos told me that I needed to “upregulate my parasympathetic nervous system” — the “rest and digest” state. Based on what he saw in that initial session, as well as what he observed in subsequent evaluations of my physical movement patterns, I was in an almost constant state of sympathetic overload — the “fight-or-flight” response. This was bigger than my post-concussion symptoms.
Many of the physical ailments and injuries that I had sustained over the years — issues that I believed were “chronic” and just a fact of my life — were the result of muscle compensation patterns that developed because my body had habituated to living in the fear response.
I had previously studied these concepts from the energetic and subtle body perspective, and understood that all physical ailments have emotional causes. But this was taking it to a new dimension for me.
I immediately felt like I needed to share this with the world. At the same time, I felt a sense of shame to share this with others.
I Was Already Doing All The Things
For years, I’ve been doing various practices to slow down and access the parasympathetic nervous system: meditation, Network Spinal Analysis, daily exercise, Vinyasa yoga, restorative yoga, yin yoga.
Plus I had made shifts to live by the moon cycles, pausing weekly, monthly, and at the various turns of the wheel to gather and reflect. In fact, had just returned from six weeks on retreat in the remote coast of Panama.
I really thought that I had had this all figured out. I teach this.
When Carlos told me to upregulate my parasympathetic nervous system my first reaction was,
I thought I was already doing this.
Suddenly I was filled with self-doubt about all these practices that I had been using to create space for myself.
So what did it say about my practices that I was still locked up in sympathetic overload?
It took me months of daily physical work and inner work to realize that it wasn’t a reflection on my work or my practices. In fact, this process has reinforced for me why my work helping people develop these practices is so important.
When I reminded myself that I am not the only one who struggles with this, I was able to release the shame around not having perfected the art of activating my parasympathetic nervous system.
That said, here are a few things I’ve learned through this process over the last six months.
(1) This is a Journey
First, the fact that I still had a long way to go doesn’t negate how far I had already come.
For a while (as in, months), I conveniently forgot about all the ways in which my daily practices had already helped me find calm within the chaos, focus my energy, and find grounding in the midst of upheaval.
If I hadn’t already been engaged in my practices, I likely wouldn’t have heard my inner wisdom direct me to Carlos’s talk and to schedule an evaluation with him. I probably wouldn’t have been there in the first place.
Everything leads you to where you need to be, when you need to be there.
I realized that when Carlos said I needed to upregulate my PNS, he wasn’t making a judgment that I had been doing things wrong; it was an invitation to uplevel my practice.
(2) There’s No Quick Fix
Second, upregulating the parasympathetic nervous system isn’t something that just happens. There’s no magic pill that does the job.
OK. Yes, I suppose you can make a good case that there are magic pills, mushrooms, herbs, and other things that will take the edge off. But those don’t upregulate the PNS; they temporarily alter your state so you dissociate from sympathetic overload.
If you want to sustainably shift your nervous system, you must build the skill by committing to the practices.
This is a lifelong effort. And, as I’ll explain further below, we need to also expand beyond the core practices.
(3) Old Habits Die Hard — Especially When We Reinforce Them
Third, I underestimated the power of the status quo.
Habits are hard to break.
Yes, this is something I teach — it’s harder to break a habit than make a habit — and I still must remind myself of this daily.
We live in a world engineered to keep us in sympathetic overload. From the constant stream of information, to the flashing lights of screens, to the noises and notifications that assault us, to the self-imposed and external demands we race to meet, we are consistently in fight-or-flight mode.
Ten minutes — even thirty or sixty minutes — of daily meditation, or an hour yoga class, is only a start at countering this chaos. It’s unrealistic to expect that it’s going to get us out of sympathetic mode for good.
Especially with the way we often practice. Whether in New York, Los Angeles, or San Diego, I have seen the same patterns play out in every yoga class. Students rushing in at the last minute, and rushing out just as quickly.
I’m guilty of this too. (At least on the rushing in part; I tend to move more slowly after practice).
When the activities we engage in to slow down and create space for ourselves are just another appointment in our day, squeezed in between distress-inducing activities, how much benefit can we realistically expect to derive from them?
If we want to make our changes sustainable, we also have to change the structure in which we operate. Sometimes that means moving to a new environment that offers better support for the life we want. Other times it simply means creating new rhythms that support the change.
The Practices Work If You Do the Work
My initial judgment that my practices must not be working eventually gave way to a broader understanding that these practices work only to the extent we do the work.
On their own, they get us only so far. If we want to see bigger impacts then we must be willing to change other parts of our lifestyle to accommodate those changes.
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