Hope vs Fear

I was given the choice of hope vs fear. The right answer seemed obvious at first, but my ultimate choice surprised me. Which would you choose?

Here is something I love about Twitter: thought-provoking questions can come your way from complete strangers. A few weeks ago, I received an interesting proposal from Olga Mizrahi of Chunk of Change:

Can you choose 1…hope or fear? @Rebecca_Forster @mattmckee @reneefishman

— Chunk of Change (@olgamizrahi) July 10, 2014

I’m not sure why Olga chose me, or Matt McKee and Rebecca Forster. I had never engaged with any of them before.

Matt McKee responded almost immediately:

@olgamizrahi @Rebecca_Forster @reneefishman I choose hope everytime

— Matt McKee (@mattmckee) July 10, 2014

Rebecca changed the question entirely:

@mattmckee @olgamizrahi @reneefishman Sure you can choose one, but the most important question is “Which is more interesting?”

— Rebecca Forster (@Rebecca_Forster) July 10, 2014

The Obvious Choice

Choosing hope sounds like the right answer; it seems to be the answer dictated by our world of inspirational quotes layered over beautiful images. If you’re a student of personal development, as I am, fear is the new 4-letter F-word: a word — and emotion — to be avoided at all costs. I’ve learned about how fear gets in the way and paralyzes us from moving forward. How I must overcome my fears. I’ve been taught that fear is negative. Fear is weak.

In a face-off of hope vs fear, hope is the obvious choice.

Or is it?

Something about hope left me feeling empty. I wasn’t sure I would choose either. I wanted to marinate on it. In the meantime, a conversation ensued.

Matt responded:

@Rebecca_Forster @olgamizrahi @reneefishman hope is interesting. It overcomes fear. Fear loses to hope almost every time.

— Matt McKee (@mattmckee) July 10, 2014

@reneefishman @Rebecca_Forster @olgamizrahi what propels you to move or take action. I believe the driving force is hope.

— Matt McKee (@mattmckee) July 10, 2014

Hope

Reading Matt’s responses triggered clarity in my thoughts. Immediately, I knew why Hope rang empty for me. Hope is passive and disempowering. Hope removes my ability to control or influence the outcome. Hope merely is wanting something; not doing something to get what you want. Hope is the lowest level of involvement that we can have with the outcomes in our lives. It doesn’t even rise to the level of “try.” At least to try you must invest a modicum of effort. Hope requires no effort. To hope is to acquiesce to whatever life gives you. To hope is to give up control.

Oxford defines hope as:

A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

Exactly. Expectation and desire. Not action and planning.

Hope doesn’t propel action. Hope is the opposite of action.

Fear

And what about fear, the emotion to be avoided? Why would I choose fear?

It is true that fear can be paralyzing, holding us back from the actions we know we need to take to reach our outcomes. But here’s the secret: fear is always there, even if we don’t want to acknowledge it. As much as we may want hope to be the driving force of our actions, fear tends to be the actual driving force of most decisions we make and actions we take.

The key is not to avoid fear, but to embrace it. Avoiding fear just helps it grow, and that’s when it becomes paralyzing.

Overcoming Fear

As Franklin D. Roosevelt famously said,

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts…”

Everyone knows the first part of that quote, but the second part is more interesting to me. Fear draws power from being kept in the dark. When we fail to acknowledge and name our fear, we allow it to take control and paralyze us from moving forward.

The first step to overcoming fear, therefore, is to shine a light on it. Acknowledge and embrace the fear. Bring it out into the open.

I choose fear because I choose to know my fear. I seek it out. I choose to acknowledge my fear exists. I do this because I know that once I expose my fear, it can no longer hold me hostage to my goals and dreams. I must uncover my fear to overcome it.

No amount of hope will eliminate the power of fear. Fear is a result of giving up our power to control our outcomes; in a state of hope, we have relinquished our control. Thus, the path of hope is almost certain to lead to more fear – not less.

Hope doesn’t overcome fear. ACTION overcomes fear.

The second step to overcoming fear is to take action, even in the face of fear. The only way to overcome fear is to show ourselves what is really true; we can do that only by taking action.

Do you agree? Disagree? Which would you choose? Please share in the comments.