My paternal grandmother had many names and roles, but to me she was simply Grandma — the role she took on when I was born, 3 months before she turned 50,
I had long hoped that she would live long enough for us to celebrate our 50 and 100 birthday milestones together, but life didn’t play out that way.
My grandma died on October 9, 2024, two months after turning 99, and 10 days after suffering a sudden stroke. Even in the days after her stroke, laying in her hospital bed, my grandma retained her radiance, her mental acuity, and her trademark stubbornness.
For my grandma, reaching 99 years of age was no easy feat. She was born in Poland and survived the atrocities of the Holocaust thanks to Oscar Schindler. She experienced more hardship and death in her formative years than many people see in a lifetime.
She rose from the ashes of death and destruction to create a life filled with joy and vibrancy. She lived long enough that all of her 11 great-grandchildren — to whom she was affectionately called “GG” — knew her well.
Anyone who lives a life of nearly a century certainly has some wisdom to impart. But my grandma was not much for preaching or writing.
Befitting her stellium of planets and points in Leo, the sign of the performer, my grandma imparted life lessons through her actions.
Read: A Leadership Reframe From My Leo-Stellium Grandma
Here are 7 life lessons I learned from my grandma.
7 Life Lessons From My Grandma’s 99-Year Life
(1) Be Bold, Courageous, and Audacious to Get What You Want
As one of the last people to get a job in Schindler’s factory, my grandma was not originally on the list of Jews who would go to his new factory. As he lined up all the workers, my grandma got out of her line and walked up to Schindler. She explained to him that she was an orphan, all alone, and the only person she had was her cousin — who was already on the list.
He told her to go back to her line, and assured her that when he called all the names for his new factory, he would call her name. My grandma went back to her line, left her bag of food on the ground, and ran over to the other line — the line of people who would be on “Schindler’s list.”
This was an action that could have gotten her killed on the spot. Schindler said to her “you little one, you cheated anyway” — but he let her stay. Through that moment of courage and audacity, my grandma secured her spot on Schindler’s List.
Even after the war, she was never one to tolerate waiting in line. She took charge and found her way to the front.
Fun Fact: my grandma died on October 9, 2024, which was the 50th anniversary of Schindler’s passing.
(2) Advocate for Your Worth
While my grandpa was always the first in our family to have the latest iPhone, my grandma was adamantly against the iPhone. For years, she insisted that her Motorola Star-Tac flip phone was good enough. She had no interest in email or texting — until June 2017, when she suddenly decided that she wanted an iPhone.
My grandpa had an idea to get himself a new phone and give his phone to my grandma.
It seemed like a reasonable approach, given that my grandma had professed that she didn’t need the latest model.
But she was not having any part of my grandpa’s plan. She adamantly refused to accept his hand-me-down phone and insisted that she deserved to get her own new phone.
I had never seen her get that upset about anything else in life before or after that moment.
She put her stake in the ground for what she believed she deserved and advocated for herself.
It was a profound lesson for me in what it looks like to claim your worth.
(3) Take Care of Yourself
Everyone who met my grandma would comment about how good she looked “for her age.” I remember when I was little she would bake in the sun — sometimes with a reflector and oil — yet it never seemed to show on her. Even in her late 90s, she had soft, plump skin and few wrinkles.
For years, my grandma walked at least 30 blocks a day. She showed up to every event impeccably dressed. She made time to have her hair and nails done. Every night she would clean her face with Noxema, and moisturize her face and body.
Even the palor of the hospital and the life draining from her didn’t diminish her beauty.
When the hospital nurses commented on her beautifully manicured nails and soft skin, she responded “I take care of myself.”
While this may seem superficial and vain, it speaks to a deeper point: she valued herself enough to make self-care a priority.
Your body is the home you inhabit for your life. My grandma took care of her body temple. Her investment paid off: she was in good physical and mental condition to the day she died. Even after the stroke that led to her death, she still had full cognition and the physical stamina to last for over a week without food.
(4) Do the Things That Interest You, Even If You Have To Do Them Alone
Before the popular Zagat guides or websites that listed cultural offerings, if you wanted to know the scoop on the latest restaurant, art exhibit, or Broadway show, you’d call my grandma. She was always in the know.
My grandma loved to take in the cultural offerings of New York City, where she lived, or the cities around the world where she and my grandpa traveled.
Often, my grandpa was by her side at these events. But sometimes he didn’t have interest in going. Grandma never let that deter her. If she wanted to do or see something, she went alone.
She never deprived herself of the experiences she wanted to have just because she couldn’t find someone to go with her.
(5) Live in the Present
My grandma’s formative years were spent living the horrors of Nazi oppression and watching her family and friends disappear.
And she lived long enough to see most of her adult friends die before her.
Perhaps because of her early life experience, she was matter-of-fact about death being a part of life. She acknowledged death and moved forward.
Although I don’t know how she addressed this on an inner level behind the scenes, I never saw her dwell in sentiment or nostalgia. She didn’t live in the past.
You might think that, given her early experiences with the Holocaust, she would project to thoughts of a better future — a common escape for people who are dealing with trauma in the present.
But my grandma didn’t do that either. She never liked to get too far ahead of herself. She managed to stay firmly rooted in the present, taking one day at a time.
(6) Cultivate and Maintain Diverse Friendships
My grandparents had a rich social life, with friendships that they sustained for decades. In their younger years, they went out socially with friends often. As they got older, my grandma would keep up with her friends by phone.
One of the challenges of living into your 90s is that you’re likely to outlive many of your contemporaries. This wasn’t a problem for my grandma. She cultivated new relationships with younger people, and always took interest in the friends of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.
Whether at the bar or bat mitzvahs or weddings, my grandma didn’t hide in the corner. She was out on the dance floor, mingling, and talking to everyone.
It might be the best longevity strategy nobody talks about: to live longer, hang out with younger people.
(7) Always Educate Yourself
My grandma embodied the quote attributed to Mark Twain, “Never let your schooling interfere with your education.”
My grandma’s early school education was interrupted by the “life education” she got while navigating the Nazi regime as an orphan, getting a job with Oscar Schindler, and surviving the Holocaust.
Years later, while she was raising my dad and uncle, she got her GED. She may not have had much formal education, but she was constantly learning new things.
She loved to read, she immersed herself in cultural offerings and museums, she attended lectures, and she always took an interest in what we were learning.
At age 92 — an age when most people stop trying to learn new skills — my grandma learned how to use an iPhone. She came around on text messages and email. She even had Facebook.
At the end of the video in which she shared the story of her life, my grandma shared her message to all of us: always educate yourself.
Love it? Hate it? What do you think? Don't hold back...