Death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. — Steve Jobs
It still feels like a surreal dream — a very bad dream.
Two weeks ago, on an otherwise non-descript Sunday morning, I received a text message from my dad that my grandma had suffered a massive stroke. We quickly learned that the prognosis wasn’t good.
In that moment, my world changed.
She held on for ten days, passing peacefully in her home exactly one week after the start of Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year.
We buried her on the morning of Yom Kippur eve.
And then I went to
My grandma was 99 years old. There were many moments over the past few years when my rational brain told me that I should prepare for the eventuality of her passing.
Another part of me thought she would live forever. She was in good health and strong.
The stroke was an event that seemed to come out of nowhere. If not for the stroke, she could have lived a couple of more years at least. Although she had slowed down, she was strong. Her organs were vital. The day before she died her blood pressure was excellent.
If not for the stroke.
That’s the thing, right there. The hidden thing you don’t see coming, until it hits you.
The one certainty of life is death. What makes it a mystery is that we don’t know when it’s coming for us.
We live in a culture that doesn’t like to talk about death. As a culture we are uncomfortable with impermanence, with the idea that we will die. Perhaps because we have no certainty of what happens after.
But that impermanence is what gives meaning to our lives.
The prayers we say on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur repeatedly remind us that in the grand scheme of the universe, we are here for a short amount of time: milliseconds in the clock hours of eternity.
Our lives are a blip in the timeline of history.
Remembering this can help us focus on the question of how we want to live.
You will not live forever. The people in your life will not live forever.
How do you want to interact with others while you are alive?
How and where do you want to spend your time?
What really matters?
Remembering our impermanence is the best tool we have to help us focus our energy and attention while we are here.
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