Have you ever felt yourself both burned out by something and yet also reluctant to quit it?
It might seem obvious to stop doing something that exhausting you to the point of burnout — even if it’s only a temporary pause. But in practice it’s not always so easy.
A client recently shared she was burned out from doing CrossFit. She was over the competitiveness of it and the workouts were getting to be too much. But she was hesitant to quit. Maybe you’ve felt the same about a workout program or some other activity — even your job.
Here’s how we prime ourselves for burnout and why it can be so hard to quit the activity that is draining us.
How We Prime Ourselves for Burnout
All of life — including any activity or project we do — follows the cycle of the seasons:
- Spring: Just beginning. Super excited
- Summer: In the thick of it. Daily maintenance.
- Autumn: Harvesting the reward, losing steam, letting go.
- Winter: Grieving, being in the emptiness.
When we don’t embrace seasonality in our lives, we can end up overstaying with something to the point where burnout occurs.
All that said, we can know that we need to make a change but still feel reluctant to pull the trigger on it.
Here are 3 reasons why it can be hard to stop the activity that is creating burnout:
(1) The activity gives you something
Whatever you’re doing, you’re doing it for a reason. It gives you something. It meets a core need.
In the example of my client, CrossFit gives her community, structure, a place to go, the ability to not have to think about what to do for her workout. She likes the competitiveness and intensity, even when it feels like too much. The environment is familiar and comfortable.
When considering what the activity gives you, you can think of it in terms of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Here are the 6 core needs, as articulated by Tony Robbins, with my own flavor to them:
- Security/Certainty
- Variety/Variability
- Connection/Community
- Significance/Feelings of Accomplishment
- Growth
- Contribution
Anything we do meets one or more of these core needs. When you can identify what the activity gives you, it helps you find other activities that might fill those same needs.
(2) Change is hard
For a million reasons, not least of which is that it requires us to step into the unknown.
In terms of my client’s example, some of the unknowns created if she were to take a break from CrossFit include:
- What’s going to be a good workout to do?
- What other activities and sports will fill you?
Here’s the truth: there’s no way to know until you try a few.
It may be that none of the other activities would give her what she needs.
It can be easier to stick with what we know — even if we know it’s not serving us — than to risk “wasting time” with a workout or that doesn’t give us what we need.
Replace “workout” with anything else where you’re staying in a “bad” situation too long, and you might see some patterns.
(3) We’re reluctant to feel the grief
Any time we let go of something — even if it’s something that we know we need to let go of, that’s not serving us — there’s grief.
The simple truth is that we can’t avoid grief. It’s there. It might be the grief over giving up an activity that was an important part of your life, or the grief over losing the connections you made by doing that activity.
Whenever we fill our time with something and give that thing up, there’s going to be a loss. It’s important to honor that loss and any grief that arises.
It may be that nothing quite takes the place of what you leave behind.
Maybe you don’t need anything to “replace” it. Perhaps you just need something different for a while.
Only you will know what you need and for how long you need it.
Check In With Yourself
Think about what in your life is feeling exhausting or draining for you. What do you need to let go to prevent burnout before it sets in?
What are the reasons you’re reluctant to leave it behind?
Identifying the reasons why you’re holding onto something can help you let it go with greater ease.
Love it? Hate it? What do you think? Don't hold back...