Some creature is pounding across the front of my head from the inside, eager to get out. It is causing a massive headache.
The base of my skull is also pounding.
My jaw is tight. It locks up sometimes, and to unlock it I must move it slowly, like the Tin Man after getting a dose of oil from the oil can.
I used to experience all of these things more frequently. The pounding headaches that become migraines. The pressure at the base of the skull that sometimes causes temporary vision blurring. The locked jaw.
Sometimes a sore throat too.
These are physical symptoms of anger that is trapped inside.
Perhaps you’ve heard the expression “blinded by anger.” That’s not just an idiom. That’s an actual physiological manifestation of anger.
When the pressure on the base of the skull becomes so intense that it blurs vision, it can cause temporary blindness.
What to do with the anger?
Here are 5 strategies you can use to deal with anger and it’s accompanying physical sensations. Not all of these are created equal, and you can employ more than one at a time.
You get to choose which strategy you want to use.
(1) Medicate It
Let’s start with the obvious one: you can take medication to get out of the physical discomfort.
Know that this doesn’t cure anything. It just numbs the sensation so you don’t feel it.
I try to avoid that where possible. I have found that working with the underlying emotion will often help the sensation dissipate on its own.
(2) Marinate In It
I’m not saying this is a good strategy, but it is a common strategy. And I’ve been guilty of employing this.
Sometimes, despite its effects on our physical well-being, we seem to want to stay angry.
Consciously or not, we marinate in the anger, stoking it and maintaining it through a variety of means, including:
- reading more about the issue that is triggering the emotion,
- retelling the story that triggered the anger
- ruminating and fantasizing
- holding onto our morality or what we know
If you find yourself doing this, notice that it’s happening. And ask yourself why you are choosing to stay in this emotion.
(3) Move It
You can move the anger through you, through different modalities:
- breathing
- physical movement
- releasing sounds
Some people find that screaming into a pillow can help. I typically find this to intensify the feelings rather than resolve them, but your mileage may vary.
(4) Meet It
Acknowledge its presence.
Hello anger, I see you.
Allow it to be here. No emotion is wrong or “bad.”
Get to know the anger and listen to what it is telling you.
Anger comes to teach us something. It tells us where we need better boundaries, or where our values have been violated.
(5) Mobilize to Action
Anger is also a mobilizing force.
According to the Harley Therapy blog,
Research connects anger with a desire to change a situation for the better, or what psychologists Frijda et al. identify as ‘action readiness’. It’s even seen in the biological affects of anger. The left frontal hemisphere of our brain, connected to motivation, is activated, and blood flows to our hands.
Once you meet the anger and listen to it, you can use it to make necessary changes to shore up your boundaries, correct injustice, and bring healing to yourself and others.
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