I was racing. Rushing. I hate to rush. Moments earlier I had been sitting in a downtown Starbucks, working, when suddenly I decided to attend services for Purim and the Megillah reading at my synagogue.
This entailed a sprint across Washington Square Park back to the apartment where I’ve been staying, a quick turnaround, and then three subways to the Upper East Side. If everything aligned, I’d get there just in time.
When it comes to reliance on New York City subways, that’s a big “if.”
With every synagogue live-streaming Megillah reading why would I race to the Upper East Side? Surely there are even places downtown to attend if I wanted to attend live.
Why race anywhere at all? Why not watch the livestream from the safety of an apartment where I can be alone, away from people who might be infected with the coronavirus?
Why put myself at risk by navigating through crowds as I commute via 3 subways to sit among people at Megillah reading, especially when the Jewish community has been hit hard by the coronavirus.
Why invite potential illness?
Well, aside from the fact that the energy in the apartment wasn’t ideal …
Aside from the fact that I still needed to move for over 200 calories to close my move ring on my Apple Watch…
The real reason is that …. actually, I don’t know why.
Divine Inspiration
I had been in a brain fog all day. Yet again, I had slept through my alarm, something I have done a lot since being back in NYC after so many years of getting up daily at 6 am without fail. In the gym earlier in the day, I could hardly move.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a spark. Divine inspiration. The thought just came into my consciousness and then I was in motion. That was enough for now. Sometimes even I get tired of asking why?
I was off, packing up my stuff, clearing out of Starbucks, and racing through a crowded Washington Square Park. Back at the apartment I quickly changed and then left again, headed for the subway, racing to get uptown in time.
As I walked to the subway I realized that I had to refill my MetroCard. That could take time and keep me from getting the train I needed.
But there was no line; I quickly refilled my card and made it down to the platform with enough time to walk to the right place on the platform before the B train pulled in.
Everything aligned. Paths cleared. Doors opened. Three subways, each arriving exactly when I needed them, exactly in perfect timing.
No struggle. Although I had been rushing earlier, this was purposeful, not frenetic.
In New York City, you feel lucky if you need one train and it comes on time. To hit three in a row felt like a major miracle.
As I navigated through the subways on my way uptown I recalled the affirmation I had chosen to start my day:
I trust God to put me where I need to be when I need to be there.
This is an affirmation I’ve repeated often over the past couple of years. Every time I start to feel that I am “behind,” not where I desire to be, or not where I’m “supposed to be,” I remind myself that I cannot see the full arc of the story because I am in it. I have to trust the creator of the story to put me in the right place at the right time.
What does it mean to have that trust?
Right Place, Right Time
As I reviewed my 2019 recently, I was reminded of how many moments like this I had during the past year. So many times when things seemed to align at just the right time, often out of nowhere.
But sometimes these moments of grace aren’t obvious.
Speed walking through the tunnel at Bryant Park, I noticed all the people I was passing. Some were wearing face masks, to protect against the coronavirus. I thought about all the people I know who are in quarantine, the growing numbers in the Jewish community who have been exposed or tested positive.
And I thought about how many people we come into contact with in our day. If I trust God to put me where I need to be when I need to be there, it means I also trust that every person I pass, every person who crosses my path, is also put there for a reason.
We are often quick to attribute our “luck” to being in the right place at the right time, and to attribute our “misfortune” to being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I imagine that some who are in quarantine right now might be playing the “if only…” game, wondering what might have been different if they had been in a different place at a given time.
Thinking back to my morning, I considered the possibility that oversleeping was a miracle that may have kept me from crossing paths with someone who was infected. Or maybe it was intended to set my day up to be exactly where I was in that moment, crossing paths with the people I saw as I walked through the subway station.
Miracles Don’t Always Appear Obvious
And I also considered: What if this coronavirus epidemic is a gift? What if this is a miracle?
This is what I means to trust and live in faith:
To know that miracles are all around us, not only in what we can see but also — especially — in what we cannot see. Sometimes the miracles are hidden in what looks like a curse.
The Essence of Purim: Hidden Miracles
This is the essence of the Purim holiday.
The Purim story doesn’t overtly mention God. There are no big miracles: no splitting of the sea, no manna from heaven, no oil that lasts for eight nights.
The Purim story reads more like a tale of coincidence. A sequence of events in which the different players were in the right place at the right time. Things just seemed to align.
Arnie Gotfryd, PhD., a professor who created the popular Faith and Science course at the University of Toronto’s New College, explains that
The miracle of Purim is not one specific event. Rather it’s in the way all the details hang together.
In other words, it’s in the “whole Megillah.” It’s not apparent until the end how everything lined up.
The heroine of the story is Queen Esther. The name Esther means that which is hidden. The costumes and masks hide our true identity. Hamentaschen, the signature food of the holiday, are triangular cookies whose dough conceals the filling within. God’s name is absent from the Megillah.
Purim is a reminder that miracles are not just the big nature-defying events; they are also hidden in what appears to be nature.
There are no coincidences.
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