To err is human; to forgive divine.
Today is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. It’s the holiest day in the Jewish year; a day when we forgo food and water and other comforts to focus our attention on prayer and atonement.
In our prayers, we enumerate our list our specific sins, misdeeds, and failings. And we beseech God for forgiveness, appealing to God’s compassion and mercy.
This is a day where we wipe the slate clean so we can move forward unencumbered by the past.
But the prayers of Yom Kippur only atone for our misdeeds that we committed against God.
When it comes to the ways we’ve failed other people, God doesn’t wipe that slate clean. We must ask them for forgiveness personally.
When we’ve harmed ourselves, we must engage in self-forgiveness.
And when people have harmed us, we must be willing to forgive them.
As hard as Yom Kippur can be, asking God for forgiveness is easy compared to asking others, forgiving others, or forgiving ourselves.
In fact, forgiving ourselves might be one of the hardest parts of the process. It’s tempting to hold onto
Anything you’re holding on to is serving you in some way. It contributes to your identity and sense of self.
Even your anger, frustration, and resentment, even your victimhood, even your despair and the hopelessness that may arise from that.
Even your guilt, shame, and blame.
They can serve as touch points for hyper-vigilance and keep you anchored to your righteousness. They might serve as fuel for some actions — although they are a cheap fuel that can lead to burnout.
To forgive means to let it go.
Forgiveness requires us to accept that we our misdeeds and failings are feature of being human, not a fatal flaw. We will mess up. We will fail to meet the expectations we hold for ourselves and that others hold for us. And others will fail to meet the expectations we hold for them. This is a fact of life.
To forgive is not to condone a wrong, but rather to acknowledge that people are human and can have the capacity to learn and grow from their mistakes.
To forgive means to release your ego, to give yourself over to the force within you that is bigger than you — to recognize the divine spark that exists in all of us.
When we forgive, we release the anchors that hold us down and hold us back, thus allowing ourselves to move forward.
Love it? Hate it? What do you think? Don't hold back...