Resistance — that invisible force that gets between us and our goals — gets a bad rap. We talk about overcoming it, beating it, banishing it.
How often does that even work?
When we try to avoid or push back against the resistance it only grows stronger.
Consider a child having a tantrum about dinner. The more you try to push back against the child, force, or punish the child, the worse their tantrum gets. Your actions only serve to wear you out.
On the other hand, what happens if you pull the child in close to you, and examine the source of their tantrum?
You may discover that the child’s tantrum is a mask for legitimate concerns or fears. Listening to your child doesn’t mean their fears must run the show — you can still make the decision about dinner — but at least you can help your child feel heard and address any fears they have.
Resistance is like a child having a tantrum. It comes with a message and has something important and possibly relevant to add. What you choose to do with the information is up to you, but it never hurts to listen.
If we honor the resistance and stop to listen, we may even find that the resistance is masking a deeper wisdom. Maybe we are pushing too hard to make things “better” or to find a more effective way. Resistance might show up as an agent that challenges our assumptions. It might be exactly what we need to force us to slow down and appreciate the way things are.
It’s easy to get sucked into a “goal tunnel” where we lose sight of the vision. Resistance might be exactly what we need to pull us out of the tunnel and reorient us with the 10,000 foot view.
What would change in your approach if you believed that the resistance was a gift to help you rather than an obstacle in your path?
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