How To Embrace Stillness, Even If You Can’t Sit Still

Winter is a time of stillness and solitude. A time for going within to face your emotions, to rest and restore.

In yesterday’s post I shared 7 rituals that embrace the darkness of winter. They also embody the quality of stillness.

But what if you find stillness challenging? If the very thought of sensory deprivation tanks and laying still for an hour send your heart racing with anxiety, you are not alone.

Stillness is hard. It doesn’t come to most of us naturally. We’ve been socialized to always be doing things, hustling, staying busy. That’s what’s comfortable.

Developing the skill of stillness is important, but it’s equally important to meet yourself where you are.

If extended periods of stillness just aren’t your thing right now, here are some ideas for how to embrace the energy of winter while still doing something.

You might think of these as “meditative practices” as compared to formal meditation.

Movement

Paradoxically, you can find stillness in movement (just as you can find movement in stillness). The best movement practices in which to find stillness are those that link your body and breath, which brings you into your body in the present moment and stills your mind.

Examples include:

• a vinyasa yoga practice (aka flow)
• swimming
• tai chi
• surfing
• sailing
• rowing a boat or kayak
• walking through nature

What makes these well-suited to stillness is they have a tendency to facilitate your coming into yourself while you’re moving. The linking of body and breath with the repetitive nature of the movements creates a stillness in your mind.

Creating

One thing to notice about the story that you’re “not good at stillness”: it’s not true.

When you’re engaged in a task you have no problem focusing on one thing for a long time. Notice how much time you can scroll your phone looking at Instagram or Facebook.

The problem with social media is that it only looks like engagement; in fact it separates you from yourself as you create a narrative about what you’re reading or about what you want to share.

Instead, try coming to “stillness” with creative pursuits that will occupy your thinking mind enough to take it out of its stories. Often our best insights come when we are focused on creating something.

One of my clients has a ritual of doing her nails, taking time to buff them and then applying polish and “more glitter then anyone needs.”

Her focus on painting her nails allows her subconscious to pop through with ideas and insights. That’s what we’re looking for.
If doing your nails isn’t your thing, find something similar.

Some examples:

• knitting or embroidery
• crafting
• coloring in a coloring book
• drawing/painting
• doodling
• cooking
• baking

The crucial element in both of these categories is that you want to choose an activity that requires a minimal amount of focus, but that doesn’t tax your conscious mind with too many decisions.

Any activity that allows you to get into a repetitive sequence so that your conscious mind can essentially turn off will allow your subconscious to poke through with insights and wisdom.

If formal meditation isn’t your thing, try one of these activities — or something similar that you enjoy doing — as a point of entry.

I’d love to know what meditative practices you enjoy. Please share in the comments.