Promise me, that when you step into the light, you will be worthy of the attention you command. — Lady Danbury, Bridgerton Season 1
I hadn’t watched television for over 7 years, so I was late to the Bridgerton band wagon. Once I discovered it, I binge watched all three seasons. Three times. Plus the “backstory” series Queen Charlotte. Also three times.
I became obsessed with Lady Danbury: her style, her confidence, her self-ownership, her unwavering embrace of the spotlight.
If you’ve watched the series, you know that Lady Danbury is a Queen. Not the Queen of England, but a Queen as in one who is sovereign. One who owns her self-worth. A woman who recognizes her power and stands in it without abusing it or shirking from it.
Who Is Your Model of Queen Energy?
Even though women today have more rights and privileges than they did in the 19th century, it’s hard to find women like Lady Danbury in today’s world — women who can so eloquently own and embrace their own power.
Growing up, I knew several women who were accomplished, prominent, and powerful. But they didn’t stand in that power. They modeled either deflection and deference, or the shadow side of accomplishment and power: bragging and control.
That’s the model many women I know learned growing up. It’s also the model we see most often in women who are in the public sphere. There are exceptions, of course. Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, and Michelle Obama come to mind immediately. But after that, I’m grasping for examples.
How Do You Respond to Praise?
Think about what happens when someone offers you a compliment — whether on something you’re wearing, on the performance you gave at a meeting, on the way you handled a tough situation.
How do you respond?
Do you deflect, detract, or diminish the compliment? Do you internally decide that the person wasn’t sincere?
Or do you double down on the compliment or praise by justifying what you did and over-explaining your process or mindset?
How often do you allow yourself to stand in the light of the praise, soak it in, and simply own it?
The ability to accept the compliment or praise is the greatest source of our confidence and power, yet most of us give up that power because we are socialized to be demure and deflecting.
When I look around my circles and the larger context of our culture, I see many women with trails of letters after their names who struggle to own their contributions. Meanwhile, men with far less education, experience, and expertise seem to have no challenge with basking in the spotlight.
You Have a Queen Inside You
Many of us can use a dose of Lady Danbury.
But here’s the thing: we don’t need to source it from somewhere outside of us.
If you can see it in her, or in Taylor, or Beyoncé, or anyone else, then you have it within you. You just need to dig deep to find where you’ve buried that part of you and bring it to the surface.
In so doing, you must be willing to confront whatever fears you have about owning your power, standing in your truth, and being visible in your accomplishments and contributions.
Venus in Leo Opposing Pluto in Aquarius
Venus in Leo opposing Pluto in Aquarius helps us confront issues regarding our own power: the way we give it away, the fears we inhabit about claiming it, and the way those fears keep us from standing in our sovereignty and our truth.
Leo is the Sun’s sign: it’s the place we claim our spotlight, the sign of courage, authenticity, and royalty. Venus in Leo is a Queen on her throne.
As Nadia Gilchrist explains:
Positive Venus in Leo does not question that she is deserving of applause. She just knows she’s special and beautiful and valuable and has something exceptional to show everyone when she expresses herself.
Pluto is the planet of power, transformation, death and rebirth, and our deepest existential fears.
When Venus and Pluto oppose each other, it can bring up the power dynamics at the deep core of our relationships.
The way you’re giving up your power impacts all of your relationships. But with Venus in Leo, the sign of authentic self-expression, the key relationship at issue is the relationship with yourself. After all, every relationship with others is a mirror of that central relationship.
If you can’t confront your inner power dynamics, it’s certain that you will give up your power in relationships with others.
Venus opposing Pluto is your call to recognize your talents, accomplishments, and contributions, to bask in the glow of compliments and accolades, and to claim your sacred inner power — not for the purpose of having control over others, but for the purpose of owning yourself.
This is about cultivating a deeply-rooted belief that you are worthy of the attention you command.
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