The last few days of the calendar year tend to illuminate an intractable tension for achievement-oriented people:
On one hand, this time of year makes us acutely aware of time. The days are short (although incrementally growing longer). The end of the calendar year looms large — without another page to flip to it can feel like we will fall off a cliff if we don’t “get everything done” “in time.”
On the other hand, we might be tired. Or even exhausted.
The weather is conducive to staying in. It almost demands rest.
And yet, even in the sanctuary of your home, you might look around only to see projects around every corner:
Closets to clear out.
Files and paperwork to organize.
Spaces to clean.
Every year at this time I feel the tension between all the things demanding my attention:
- finishing my year-end review and wrapping up my year
- clearing the decks for a fresh start in January
- considering my 3 words for the coming year
- clearing out the clutter and organizing myself.
Amidst all of these projects that pull at me, what I really want to do is rest.
When Rest Feels Irresponsible
For me, like many of my clients, putting rest at the top of the list feels irresponsible. Rest feels like a luxury that is available only to people who “finish their work.” And because there is always more work to do, we don’t ever get to actually rest.
“Homework first” was the mantra in my house when I was growing up, and to this day that mindset still sticks in me. Rest is like the dessert we get after eating our vegetables.
Old habits die hard, indeed.
That I feel this tension despite my belief in cycles and seasons as mile-markers — rather than the artificial Gregorian calendar — speaks volumes to the way culture indoctrinates us with expectations about our behavior and approach.
Certainly, the calendar does have a pull. Even if it’s an artificially constructed framework of time, we all ascribe to it on some level. There’s an energy shift to pulling out a new calendar with its blank pages waiting to be inscribed with events yet to happen.
This time of year —both in terms of the seasons and the calendar — is well-suited to year-end reviews and clearing out the clutter.
AND also the most important lesson of Winter is that deep rest must come first. We must resist the trauma of urgency. Rest is a commandment, not merely a lifestyle choice.
I’ve learned the hard way — more than once — the consequences of skimping on rest.
The times when we feel most overloaded with work are, ironically, the times when we must double down on rest.
3 Reminders to Ease the Tension
Here are 3 things I remind myself at this time of year:
(1) Simplify
Rather than cut short the essential nourishment of rest, embrace acceptance. And accept that you’ll have less time to devote to those other tasks and projects. Look for places to simplify them, or scale back your ambitions.
(2) There’s No Time to Rush
Remember that the calendar, while exerting a strong pull, is still artificial. There’s no cliff on December 31, and no race starting on January 1. Remind yourself that there’s no time to rush.
(3) Rest is Not a Luxury
Rest is not the dessert to the vegetables; it’s not the reward for doing your homework. It’s the appetizer to the meal; the warm-up that prepares you to do the work. Rest is an investment in your future effectiveness.
Remember that rest is the fuel for our actions, not the reward for completing them.
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