We are still in the early stages of the year, when it feels like everyone is in our inbox to remind us of the need to set goals, drive toward them relentlessly and compete every day.
This entire dynamic is driven by the masculine energy.
(Note: this has nothing to do with gender; it’s simply a description of the energetic quality).
The masculine energy that has been in place for so long is divisive. Competition brings out abrasive qualities in people. It’s not sustainable long term. The world needs healing from its divisiveness and wars, not more “us vs them” mind sets.
Slowly, the energy of the world is starting to shift to a more feminine energy. The feminine energy is more about allowing and less about pursuing.
Those who don’t make the shift will get swept up and left behind.
I first learned about the differences between the masculine and feminine energies in December 2010, at Tony Robbins’ Date With Destiny seminar. In fact, I had an intervention with Tony around this as it relates to me. As a lifelong high-achiever and driven woman, I’ve been operating from my masculine energy for so long, I didn’t know there was any other option.
Once I learned about this, I wondered: how can I lead more from the feminine energy?
Of course, that very question comes from the masculine energy. The feminine energy is about bringing awareness to it. So I’m bringing awareness to it. Allowing it to unfold.
I believe it is the embrace of the feminine energy that will help us bring peace to the world. And I’d like to try, in 2015, to make the world a better place.
To that end, here is an rough take on some thoughts around how we can start to do embrace the shift from the masculine to the feminine energy.
1. Stop Preaching. Start Listening.
Do you like when people preach to you? Neither do I. Nobody does. We don’t even like when preachers preach.
Rather than preach, listen. Sit down and listen to someone’s point of view. Really listen. Not simply allow them to speak while you focus on something else. Listen. Try to understand. Ask questions. Empathize. Try their point of view on for size. Maybe it won’t fit you. You don’t need to adopt it. But maybe you’ll see a point of view you might have otherwise discounted. Maybe you’ll see the world in a new light. Or a half of a new light.
2. Stop Competing. Start Collaborating.
Competition invariably means that one side wins and the other loses. Everyone is at a different place. Stop trying to compete with your neighbors, friends, mentors, strangers, etc.
I know… You say you compete against nobody but yourself.
Bullshit.
You’re competing against all the people you see out there with the #competeeveryday hashtag.
And even if you are competing against yourself, recognize that you’re not the same every day.
Every day you wake up as a new person. Your body is a little different. Your focus is a little different. Stop trying to compete against yourself.
Feminine energy focuses on collaboration. We can create a bigger and better world through collaboration than we can through competition. Put out a metaphorical stool for someone to step on to help boost them up, for no reason other than it’s a nice thing to do. Help someone achieve something without needing to take the credit for it or get a nice review online or new followers. Stop trading favors. Pay it forward without being part of a challenge to do so or the promise that someone will pay it forward to you. That’s not actually paying it forward, anyway.
Let’s compete a little less and collaborate more. We are all on the same team. Team Better World.
3. Be a Builder, Not an Owner.
Owners are possessive and controlling. They want to make all the decisions. They believe they can control the results.
Let’s first understand that we control nothing in this world except how we respond to events. As much as we think we have control over our decisions and actions, they are all in the hands of a larger force. God, the Universe, the Divine. Whatever you want to call it.
The way forward is not to own, but to build. Owners think of themselves. Builders think of the future. We don’t own this world. We are taking care of it for the next generation. If you own a business your goal should be to build it into something that can better serve now and in the future.
Aim to build something that can continue doing good after you are gone. Not just because you left a lot of writing in your wake — nobody will care enough to read it down the line. A true legacy is built when you’ve impacted people who carry out your mission and vision. Build for them. Build something that attracts people to your cause.
4. Connect Instead of Collect
We are living in an era where everyone seems increasingly focused on “collecting”: awards, likes, followers, leads, information.
It’s not about how many likes and followers you have. It’s not about how many cards you collect at your next conference. It’s not about how many leads you generate. None of that matters.
What is relevant is how you connect with the people in your world and how you can connect those people with others.
5. Matter, Don’t Measure.
An extension of the previous issue. Everyone today is looking to quantify:
How many words do you write per day?
How many pounds can you bench press?
How many followers and likes and retweets do you have?
Really …. Who cares?
The number is not nearly as important as the quality. And it’s so arbitrary.
Yes. I know about the value of SMART goals. But specific and measurable should have a purpose. Most of the things we are seeking to measure are arbitrary.
Writing more words doesn’t make you a better writer. It doesn’t mean you communicate more effectively. It just makes you a more prolific writer.
Write 500 or 1000 or 3000 words if they are meaningful. Or write none if you have nothing to say.
How many of your Twitter followers or Facebook likes can you mobilize into action to serve a purpose? How many of them will come visit you in the hospital?
How many new leads do you really need? What if you spent more time and effort serving your current clients?
This is the start of some things that are in my thoughts as we start this year. I invite you to try it on and see how it feels.
Perhaps we can collaborate to create a world with more meaning and intention.
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