Over the years I’ve shared highlights from my adventures on flying trapeze and trampoline on my social media.
Over the past 18 months I’ve shared a lot of videos from my CrossFit journey on my Instagram stories.
It’s easy to compile a highlight reel that makes me look super strong, brave, and “bad-ass.”
Some apps make it easy to plug a few clips into a template that already has a voiceover speaking to the importance of discipline and not giving up.
By combining a good angle and the best clips with the right music and the right story, I can create a piece of art that intends to inspire and motivate.
These reels can serve a purpose.
But sometimes I feel like a fraud when I post them, because they often don’t tell the whole story.
What You Don’t See
Here’s what my highlight reels rarely show:
- My struggles. None of this comes easy to me. I’m not a natural athlete.
- The times I cry mid-workout because everything hurts. I have long struggled with chronic pain and fibromyalgia.
- The moments when my nervous system gets dysregulated or I fall victim to my limited frustration tolerance, both byproducts of ADHD.
- The descent into distorted thinking that happens — more often than I’d like to admit —when I feel pain and suddenly jump to the conclusion that all my efforts have been wasted and that I’m doomed to be injured for life.
- The days when I choose to let myself rest by doing the bare minimum, or almost nothing at all.
- The times I’m phoning it in or going through the motions because I’m burned out and just trying to keep my body moving in some way.
It’s not just my reels that don’t show these things.
Most highlight reels don’t show these type moments, even though they exist more often than any of us would like to admit.
Why don’t we show the lowlights?
I can only answer for myself.
They’re not fun to watch.
Those moments are not aligned with the identity I want to create for myself.
They hardly seem like they would be of value: who wants to watch someone failing repeatedly, when there is not yet the victory at the end to speak of. The middle of the journey is rarely fun to be in, let alone to watch.
And yet, the clips left on the cutting room floor also tell an important story.
The Cost of Showing Only the Highlights
Not posting those moments or talking about them contributes to the false expectations created by social media, including the beliefs that
- success is just a matter of showing up daily and putting in the work;
- progress is linear;
- there are never set backs; and
- if you have a compelling “why” you won’t ever experience burnout.
Don’t get me wrong: the inspiration and motivation of accomplishment serve a valuable purpose.
But so, too, do the clips that are often left on the cutting room floor.
The Value of Sharing the Lowlights
What we see is true. What we don’t see is also true. — Nevine Michaan
What might change in our culture if we embraced more of those clips we tend to leave out, if we showed the struggle behind the success?
What if we showed the lowlights that make the highlights even more worthy of celebration?
It’s all a part of the journey.
And when we embrace this part of our journey, when we dare to be seen in it, we normalize it for ourselves and others.
By sharing more of these “lowlights” we may find it easier to embrace ourselves when we stumble.
We may finally come to realize and accept that success isn’t without its struggle, that transformation isn’t an overnight phenomenon, and that the path to progress isn’t linear.
And we may finally embrace where we are with more compassion and acceptance.
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