Comparison often gets a bad rap, but it is natural process of learning.
It’s how we define what things are: we come to understand what an apple is by comparing it to other fruits.
When it comes to ourselves and our identity, comparison to others helps us see ways in which we are different and similar. It can help us see our place in the world.
That said, comparison can become destructive when we get down ourselves for not measuring up to what other people are doing, what we perceive they are doing, or what we perceive the “normal” standard to be.
Who has defined the standards you’re trying to meet in your life? In your business? In who you are or how you show up?
If we are aiming for a target that is not aligned with how we work best, or with what we need, we will be disappointed. And it’s hard to build momentum on disappointment.
When you look at where other people are, you don’t necessarily see the whole picture. They may not be where they seem to be.
Even if they are, you don’t know what resources, tools, talents, skills, and abilities a person has. You don’t know what advantages and privileges they started out with.
The same is true for holding ourselves to general standards set by culture. We often don’t even realize how deeply we internalize these standards and metrics — whether it’s for where you think you should be by this point in life or in your business or even for what metrics are reasonable for you.
Meet Yourself Where You Are
The antidote to this challenge of comparison is to meet yourself where you are.
Be realistic about what you are working with, your capacity, your skills.
Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Forgive yourself for falling short.
Find a way to love even the parts of yourself that you might not like so much all the time.
When we can meet ourselves where we are, we can find valuable resources that can take us where we want to go.
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