In 2022, I stepped up my decade-long “fitness first” ritual by committing to myself to get to the gym by 5:30 am each weekday. Usually, I take a 5:30 am class, but I aim to arrive by 5:30 even if I’m not taking class.
The reason I do this is simple: consistency.
It’s easier to wake up in the morning when you get up at the same time every day. It’s also a lot less energy to manage this. I cut out the decisions about what time I’ll want to arrive and what time I’ll need to wake up.
The structure of class gets me moving without much puttering and procrastination. But sometimes my body needs a break from class. When I’m not taking a class I aim to keep that same cadence.
Generally, I make it by 5:30 am no matter what.
But not always.
Sometimes I have a slow morning. It takes me longer to get out the door, and once at the gym it takes me longer to get going in my workout. I might putter more than I ideally want to.
The Sabotaging Habit
When I do have a slow morning, I tend to beat myself up about it — even though I’m aware that this self-criticism serves no constructive purpose.
The criticism and judgment I inflict on myself in this situation — and other similar circumstances — is a habit; a relic of the way I was spoken to when I was younger and fell short of expectations of others.
This is a habit I’m always working to break because I know it doesn’t serve me. Sometimes it takes me a while to realize I’m in it. When I do realize, I interrupt this thought process that’s taking place in the recesses of my subconscious.
A Common Cause of Self-Sabotage
To any rational observer, having a slow morning is simply a function of being human. We are not robots.
We might get slowed down by any number of things: a cold morning, an aching back, an issue weighing on our mind.
It wouldn’t seem like something to dwell on.
So why even mention it?
Because it’s common. And it’s a frequent cause of self-sabotage when it comes to implementing new practices and rituals.
This is the time of year when most people who set “resolutions” tend to abandon them.
One of the reasons we abandon new practices or rituals is because we “slip up” and “fall off track.” Once we fall off track, it can be a quick slide into “why bother?”
Before you know it, you’ve abandoned your new practice.
The self-criticism is a form of self-shaming — a way to use negative reinforcement to “get back on track.” The problem is that self-criticism doesn’t work. Shaming might create an instant change, but it is a poor motivator for sustainable long-term change.
Recognize The Myth of Perfection
This habit of beating myself up when I’m running off my schedule is a symptom of being caught up in the Myth of Perfection: the idea that there’s a perfect ideal that I must strive to meet, and that anything less is failure.
A common sign of perfectionism is all-or-nothing thinking. In this case, that thought might be something like,
If I’m not at the gym by 5:30 am every day, it means I’m not consistent.
I confess: it sounds silly to even write this, or to speak it aloud.
This proves the value of investigating what’s actually happening in the recesses of our mind when we fall into these habitual traps.
Of course, having a slow morning doesn’t make me inconsistent.
Progress is something that can only be measured over the long arc of time.
Fortunately, I took detailed notes when I started my “Fitness First” practice a decade ago. I need only go back to my journals to see how often I slipped up in those early days.
Seeing that, and how I’ve sustained my daily workout practice for over a decade, helps me get out of the myth that a simple slip up will ruin me.
If you want to stick to your resolutions and rituals, it’s important to be on the lookout for this and to understand the inner dynamic that is playing out.
How to Move Forward: Expect Fluctuations and Stay the Course
Like an airplane flying through the sky, we are inevitably going to deviate from the straight path. Over the past 10 years of being not missing a morning workout, I’ve learned that those individual slow mornings will eventually get lost in the bigger sea of days that I am on schedule. The imperfections don’t negate the consistency; in fact, if I am kind and compassionate with myself they can help it — by keeping me in the game.
If we get absorbed by every small fluctuation — whether it’s in the time we wake up in the morning, the number on the scale, or any other metric — we won’t stay the course to make progress over the long term.
This is the reason I like to adopt daily practices and rituals: the next opportunity is never far away.
Whenever we take on a new ritual or practice, it’s important to expect fluctuations and set-backs. You’ll have many days that don’t meet your ideal. You’ll slip. You’ll fall. You’ll hit snooze. You’ll miss a day of writing. You might even miss a workout.
Recognize that this is part of the process.
Have compassion for yourself, and stay the course.
The best thing about daily practices is that they offer a chance to do it better tomorrow.
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