When someone gives you a compliment, how quickly do you dismiss it or qualify it?
In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, imagine this conversation:
What a beautiful dress.
Thanks. I got it on sale/I’ve had it for years. Its not new.
Or this one:
You did a spectacular job on that project.
Oh, it was nothing. Anyone could have done it.
Or consider how you assess yourself at the end of the day:
Do you acknowledge what you did, or do you focus on all that remained undone and where you fell short?
Whether it’s about appearance, performance, or general daily tasks, many of us have trouble seeing and taking in the good.
Meditation teacher Jeff Warren calls it “letting the good land.”
My trampoline coach calls it “taking the win,” and it’s a place where I struggle often — despite a daily practice of recording my wins that is currently in its 9th year.
It’s almost like I’m hard-wired to look at what went wrong and what needs to improve.
This eye toward constant improvement is one of the hallmarks of many high achievers I’ve met and worked with. It’s a quality that receives affirmation in the world of personal development.
Looking at what needs improvement is how we make things — and ourselves — better.
And making things better is what we’re here to do, right?
Well, yes. And …
When we focus on what can be better we miss the magic and beauty of what is already great.
When we direct our attention to what could be we miss what is. We create a constant gap, where happiness and success remain permanently on the other side of that thing I still need to do.
When we direct our focus almost exclusively on what needs to improve we deny ourselves the benefits of creating forward momentum from our accomplishments and wins.
We become constant strivers, always waiting for that mythical magic moment when everything will align and all the pieces will finally fall into place.
And we miss the fact that the magic is here now. The pieces are here now.
The irony is that if we can’t find it here, we won’t find it on the other side of the “improvements.”
There will always be ways to improve something and make something better.
But what if everything is also perfect right now, right here?
What if there’s nothing to improve, nothing to fix, nothing to strive for?
Love it? Hate it? What do you think? Don't hold back...