Part of creating space for ourselves and our work involves setting and honoring clear boundaries. When people or projects invade too much of our space or take too much of our energy, we have a responsibility to push back.
This isn’t always easy in practice.
The scarcity culture trains us that we should never turn anyone away, especially in business.
Don’t burn your bridges. Always leave the door open to future opportunity.
As a result, many business owners, especially women, have trouble saying NO.
For a long time I held on too long to toxic clients out of fear.
What happens when you hold on too long when you should let go?
If it’s your home, you might miss the prime market to sell your home.
If it’s your commitment to a relationship that is no longer viable, you may miss out on a new relationship that would offer you the intimacy you desire.
You might continue to spend money to maintain something that isn’t paying you back.
If it’s food, you could get food poisoning.
The energy drain from a toxic relationship will eventually infect your other relationships.
Perhaps worst of all: when you’re holding on to what you have because you fear letting it go, you close yourself off from receiving what you truly desire.
When our hands are closed from over gripping to what we have they are not open to receiving what is coming.
Open Doors Leak Energy
Tempering your NO to a prospective client or to an invitation by saying maybe is a disservice to that person and to yourself. Your maybe gives the other person hope of possibility, and it becomes an open door that leaks energy from everything else you do and the clients you desire to serve.
As challenging as it may be to say NO, we owe it to ourselves and our ideal clients and our work.
We must let go of what is to create space for what wants to emerge.
Weed the garden so the flowers will grow.
What are you holding on to right now that is no longer serving you?
What relationships, habits, objects, attitudes, opinions, beliefs, or ways of operating are you continuing to grip that is preventing you from receiving what you truly desire?
If you’re not saying NO to others, you’re saying no to yourself.
You have a right to say yes to yourself without guilt. In fact, you have a responsibility to yourself and your work to weed out the distractions and energy drains that prevent you from bringing full presence to those you serve.
You do not owe anyone an explanation for your no.
As a friend recently reminded me,
“No” is a complete sentence.
Close the door to the people and projects that drain you so you have energy for what fills you up.
Honor your no so you can live your yes.