You’re doing everything you can, working hard, trying to work smart. You’re putting in the effort. But nothing is happening. Or maybe it feels like a lot of things are happening. Just the wrong things.
Perhaps you feel stalled or blocked. Stuck. Frustrated. Angry.
Looking for someone to blame for you’re inability to make progress or get the results you want, that you know you deserve.
Why must it be so hard?, you wonder.
We’ve all been there.
I’ve had so many moments where I’ve turned to the Universe and reminded the higher power,
When I said I wanted to live the life of my dreams, I didn’t mean the nightmares.
(That’s a joke, in case it’s not obvious.)
So what do you do when these moments arise, as they inevitably do?
You can blame all the people in your way, the people who are not delivering for you. The partner who won’t get on board with your vision. The advisors who are giving you what you deem to be impractical advice. The traffic. Crowds.
Notice how you feel when you lay blame. Maybe it makes you more angry and that gives you a sense of certainty for a while, a sense of power and purpose:
I’ll show them.
But, ultimately, blame makes you a victim. It just puts you further into disempowerment. If everyone else is to blame, you’re a victim of their actions or inactions or faulty advice.
And, sure, you can blame yourself. But that still makes you a victim — of a perpetrator you can’t escape.
Two kinds of bypass we tend to favor.
Emotional Bypass: deny how you’re feeling about the situation. Suppress your emotions.
Whatever. It’s not that important. I’ll get over it.
Will you? Or will the unexpressed emotions simply fester in the shadows, until they erupt at the wrong time.
Spiritual Bypass: Chalk it up to the larger forces. Blame the Universe, God, Nature.
Maybe it’s not meant to be. Maybe this is a sign.
Maybe what you want is not meant to be.
Or, maybe the struggle you are having is a sign that your approach isn’t working.
(3) Breathe, Backtrack, and Reboot
Slow it down. Take a breath, and a big step backward. Reevaluate the landscape. Reconnect with what you truly desire.
What’s the result, the ultimate outcome you are after? Redefine it so you are clear.
Can you approach it from a different way? Is there a different path you can take?
There are unlimited paths you can take to get to what you want, if you know what it is you really want.