Whenever you take a stand for your boundaries, it’s inevitable that some people around you will resist that stand.
Most people don’t like change. When you implement new boundaries and hold tight to them, it creates a change for other people. You might be less accessible or available to them.
Even if you have been clear in setting expectations or informing clients and customers about the change before it happens, they will resist your new boundaries.
This resistance lies at the heart of why we often hesitate to set and honor our own boundaries.
We don’t want to be disliked, or cast as the perpetrator. The desire to be liked is often what keeps us from honoring our own boundaries. Afraid of the consequences, we resist our own growth.
A common form of resistance that other people have to our boundaries is to cast us as the perpetrator in their drama story. They will act as if your honoring your own boundaries is a personal attack on them, or deprives them of something to which they had a right.
When that resistance shows up, you may feel compelled to apologize or back down from your stand. In these moments, remember that their response isn’t a reflection on you. In fact it has nothing to do with you.
Instead of buying into their view that you did something to them, look at it as reinforcement that you are moving in the right direction.
If you are not disappointing people, then you’re not holding tight enough boundaries.
Boundaries, by definition, keep people out. That people will be disappointed is an anticipated consequence.
It means you’re doing it right.