In July 2016 I started a weekly livestream broadcast after my Saturday morning trampoline practice, in which I shared something I had learned in practice that day and how it applied to life. It became my ritual. At first, I didn’t even tell anyone. Gradually, I started to promote it more. I gave it a name: first, The Trampoline Show; later, I started to incorporate lessons from flying trapeze and changed the name to My Circus Life.
Last week I broadcast Episode 100. Circus activities provide a fertile ground for life lessons. I’ve never done the same exact topic twice, and I have a list of topics I still haven’t covered. Despite having so much more to share, lately I have been feeling that it’s time to end My Circus Life — at least for now, and in its current form.
The Challenges of Endings
The challenges with starting a new project are well-known. Decisions. Expectations. Fears. Getting your shit together to start. Procrastination.
Starting new things can be hard.
Many people have written about these challenges and how to overcome them. Fewer have written about how to quit a project.
Such a dirty, 4-letter word in some circles. Achievers don’t quit. Winners don’t quit. Successful people don’t quit. Entrepreneurs don’t quit.
Or so we are led to believe.
Well, as a matter of fact, they do. It’s one of the secrets. You can’t do everything, and certainly not all at once. You’ve got to pick your projects.
Every creator, every innovator, quits.
All creation begins with destruction.
All innovation begins with disruption.
It’s inherent in the nature of every creative, every innovator, and every entrepreneur, to also be a disruptor and destroyer.
And, still, quitting is the hard part. Because who wants to destroy their own creation?
A disruptor doesn’t just disrupt industries, she disrupts herself.
One of the crucial parts of the creative process is knowing when to end something. We’ve all seen the TV series that went on several seasons too long, or the athlete who didn’t retire early enough.
Endings tend to be messy and particularly hard because nobody gives us any guidelines for how to do them.
Release, Then Reap
The energy of the fall season is often associate with harvest, but it’s also a time for endings. This is the season when we reap the fruits of our labor as the trees shed their leaves. It asks us to consider what we need to release in our lives to reap the harvest that awaits us.
You cannot receive abundance when your hands are gripping on to what you already have.
But how do you know what to release, and when it’s time to quit it?
There are no easy answers, but here are some of the things I considered in deciding to end My Circus Life, for now:
The original reasons for it no longer exist.
I first started doing this show because each week in trampoline practice my coach would say something and I would think: I should write about this on my blog. But I didn’t write it or share it.
My Circus Life was intended as a quick way to share my insights.
I am now publishing daily. I am more comfortable with selfie video.
It No Longer Serves it’s Purpose
I want to produce higher quality and I can’t do that in this structure. I need a reliably quiet place with good lighting where people can hear me. My ideas and wisdom are too deep for off the cuff live streaming. I’ve always believed that if something is worth tuning in for it’s worth carving space in your day. I’m not here just to create content. There’s a type of content that works for immediate live streaming. But this isn’t that. I want to create a structure where I share my ideas and tell people this is worth carving space in your day.
It’s in the Way of Something Else
The more I tried to produce good quality the more removed it got from practice and it took over my day. I need to free up that energy to focus on other things.
It Feels Like Time
Sometimes, all you have to go on is a feeling.
You just know: it’s time to move on to something else.
I have plans for how I want to use this treasure trove of content I’ve created.
And right now, as I’m making other big changes, and my life is in transition, feels like the right time to end it.
It doesn’t have to be forever.