What’s something that feels both entirely possible and yet beyond your reach? Here’s a 3-step process to get unstuck, plus 2 bonus steps to lock it in.
Seeing Your Vision
Have you ever had a thing in your life that you wanted to do, and you felt that it was totally within your capability to do it, and, at the same time, you felt like it was just beyond your reach?
Maybe you have a thing like that in your life right now.
Perhaps you can visualize it.
You know — in your body — that this thing you want to do, this vision you have, is completely do-able. Right now. As you are.
It doesn’t feel like a big stretch of your comfort zone. You don’t feel a lot of fear around this thing.
But somewhere, there’s a disconnect.
Your mind is stuck trying to figure out the logistics.
It’s a feeling of How will I get there? How can I make it happen?
You’re so close you can absolutely feel it. Yet there’s something blocking you, telling you it’s far away.
Seeing the Gap
First, know that you’re not alone. This is so common. Especially if you’re a visionary. We often get stuck in our own visions.
This is currently coming up in many areas of my life, and it came up today during my weekly trampoline practice.
As I often say, Circus is life. And in working through this issue on the trampoline, I found a solution that applies to other parts of life as well.
I’m going to share the process with you to help you get unstuck.
Feeling something within reach and also out of reach
A few years ago, I spent an entire summer learning a Cody kick, a move to initiate backward rotation to go from a stomach landing to my back. Like almost every skill I learn on trampoline, it did not come easily to me, but now it’s part of my warm-up set.
Today, I wondered if I could do a stomach drop, Cody kick to my back, and then rotate forward again, back to my stomach. I felt like I was at least close to it, but it also felt really out of reach. After a brief discussion with my coach, I did it. Yay!!
Success leaves clues.
When I find a way to do something, I look for the patterns and process that got me there. Often, the process translates across contexts. And I believe that’s true here.
Here is the 3 step process to grasp the thing that feels just beyond your reach, plus 2 bonus steps to help you lock it in.
Step 1: Share the vision with others
The first thing I did was I shared my thought with my coach, Roger.
There are two reasons for sharing the vision with others:
(a) Make it Real
Voicing our desire makes it real for us. The first element to bringing an idea into form is to give it expression through your voice. Often, we get stuck because we marinate the idea in our head and the vision itself doesn’t feel real enough to try it.
(b) An Objective Lens
Other people can often see with more clarity where we are and how close we are to what we desire. Often, they see how to bridge the gap in a way we cannot see for ourselves.
By vocalizing my thought, I made the desire real. I knew if I did it once, I would know I could do it. I couldn’t quite grasp how to make it happen.
Roger could see what I couldn’t see. He knew I was closer than I believed myself to be. And he reinforced the confidence I could already feel inside me: I knew that this was something within my capabilities right now, in this moment.
Crucial Tip: Make sure you share your vision with the right people. Not everyone can see your vision with you. Also, not everyone can see your capabilities through objective eyes. The biggest mistake we make in this process is sharing our vision with the wrong people. (I shared a little more on this in Episode 69 of My Circus Life. Click here to watch.)
Step 2: Enlist Support
Support can come in diferent forms:
- Witness. It may be enough for you to have someone else listen to you, and hear your desire and vision reflected back to you.
- Energetic. Sometimes it helps simply to have a person hold the energetic space for what you want to do. The fact that you know they are holding the vision with you helps you in your process.
- Emotional. Encouragement and reinforcement of your abilities. When someone else expresses their belief in you and reinforces why they believe in you, it can help you step more firmly into your self-belief and strengthen your courage to do the thing.
- Physical. Tactical support. A guide to take us step-by-step through the process. A buddy to do it with us. Someone to provide a cushion if we fall, and to help us course-correct as we go.
In this case, Roger provided all of these things. He witnessed me and held energetic space by aligning with me in the possibility of this. He reinforced for me that this was completely within my ability. And when I went to do it, he threw in the “clam” – a throw mat to soften the landing if I were to land awkwardly. This removes any subconscious fears that I’ll injure myself.
Step 3: Do The Thing
As Roger and I discussed my idea, he reminded me that the only way to know is to try.
When you feel that something is within your grasp, even if it feels out of reach, the only way to know for sure is to do it. Just go for it. You never know how you might surprise yourself.
Maybe you’ll falter in the first attempt. It might be messy. But that messiness just tells you where you need to adjust your process.
That’s what I did.
In my first attempt, I didn’t quite get back to my stomach. Roger pointed out that my Cody kick to my back wasn’t as good as it had been earlier. He reminded me to focus on that element first. (The obvious lesson from every trampoline practice: focus on fundamentals).
When I fixed the Cody kick, I got to my stomach with ease.
Step 4: Create a Testimonial
A testimonial is a tangible record of what you did. It is something that provides testimony to your accomplishment. A testimonial helps your mind see what you felt in your body. It gives you tangible proof of your accomplishment.
The tangible proof serves two important functions:
First, it helps you celebrate your accomplishment.
Second, it serves as evidence when your inner critic and doubts start to question your memory or your achievements.
A few ways to create a testimonial:
- Video/Picture. We use video a lot in trapeze and trampoline practice to record our skills and progress. In other contexts, I often take pictures of things I created.
- Create an Image. I often create an image to mark key milestones for my daily streaks. It is a way to celebrate what I’ve done, and reminds me of the accomplishment when I look back on my year.
- Journal. Write about the experience you had.
In this case, my friend Derek filmed it for me, and I have the video as a testimonial of this milestone. Also, in this case I have videos of the messy attempts too. This helps me remember that it’s not always perfect the first time.
I also journaled about it. Journaling led me to extract my process, which I can apply to other areas of my life.
Step 5: Share the Testimonial
Just like giving voice to the dream helps us bring it into form, sharing the accomplishment helps us make it real for ourselves.
This is not about bragging, or inflating your ego. Rather, it’s about recognizing and celebrating what you’ve done.
You are also allowing others to see you through your own eyes in a moment when you are looking at yourself nicely (which we don’t always do). This helps “future you” by creating “witnesses” to what you did who can remind you of it when you forget.
In this case, I shared two different “testimonials.” First, I shared the results of my journaling, which was the process I extracted. This became the topic for Episode 69 of My Circus Life. This article is another form of that testimonial.
Second, I shared the video of the skill on Instagram and Facebook. And here it is for you:
What’s something in your life right now that you feel is within your reach and yet just beyond your grasp?
Engage this 5-step process to get unstuck, and report back on your progress.
If you’re stuck on where to turn for support, reach out. Helping visionaries get unstuck is one of my best skills.
I shared this process in Episode 69 of My Circus Life: 3 Steps to Grasp Just Beyond Your Reach. Watch the replay to hear more about how to avoid the crucial mistake in sharing your vision.