Many people I know like to say that if you focus on what you need to make happen and work really hard, then the universe will help you and put the rest in place. Sometimes that is true and it works out. And other times, you bust ass all week, ignore everything else to make something happen, and at the end of the day, you fall short. You fail to reach your goal.
The universe does not help by putting things in place. In fact, it seems to actively put things in your way.
You’re left standing there: hungry, tired, angry, frustrated, alone, disappointed. And grateful. Yes, grateful too. Grateful for the people who stepped up to help you, even if they did not meet your expectations. Grateful for your own efforts, even if you failed to meet your expectations.
Most people don’t tell you is that gratitude does not magically erase the other emotions. It’s not some magic elixir that will eliminate the pain you feel inside when you fail to achieve the result you wanted. The result you worked so hard to get.
So, there you are: emotionally, mentally and physically drained because you pushed and powered through like a good soldier and yet you came up empty. You failed.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
In this moment you don’t want to hear how the universe is still working for you, if only you believe. The truth is, that won’t help. Just like gratitude doesn’t erase the other pains, belief is not a magic cure that erases the emptiness you feel inside. Masking your heartache with belief or gratitude only serves to stifle the pain temporarily. Until it bubbles up again bigger and bigger until, at last, you acknowledge it.
Connect. Accept. Feel.
This moment is not for belief or gratitude. This moment is for connecting to your emotions and allowing yourself to feel that anger, pain, disappointment, hopelessness, despair or whatever else you are feeling.
This moment is not for self-judgment or correcting the “wrong” feeling. It is for being with what you are feeling right now and knowing that any feeling is the “right” feeling. This moment is for accepting the authenticity of your feelings. You don’t even have to name the emotion. Just be with it. Acknowledge it. Allow yourself to feel it. For this moment.
Not days. Just a moment.
Understand the Obstacle
The only true obstacle is you, and only if you allow that to be so.
You have the freedom to choose whether you will stay in anger and frustration or whether you will find a way to get the result you need.
Maybe it won’t be the ideal result you wanted. It may require you to trust in others. To trust in a power higher than yourself.
And then, dig deep and remember: You are resourceful. You are creative. You are blessed with gifts and talents that nobody else possesses. You have an indomitable spirit.
In your moment of utter frustration and despair, know that whatever got you this far will get you where you need to go, if you are willing to step up and fight for it. Know that even in your darkest moments, there is a part of you that has the power to overcome any obstacle, to push the barricades out of the path or to say:
I will find a new way. I will create my own path.